Reality Slapped Me in the Face Today

Sort of like on the V8 commercials where they are bopped in the head and the narrator comes on, "should have had a V8." That's pretty much what happened to me.

I had to pick something up in the Kings Gate shopping center and while I was there I saw Francesca's, which is a trendy clothing store. It had been a while since I had bought anything and thought maybe I needed a couple of shirts and they were having a sale - 50% off so I could tell Mr. Bish that I was being frugal.

I put Baby Bish in his stroller, get all of our bags and we trudge in. (Opening a door and pushing a stroller in at the same time should be an Olympic sport BTW.)

After 10 seconds of being in the store, I realized my mistake. I was assuming that I was still a young, hip college girl. I was the oldest one in the store (and I'm NOT old) and obviously Baby Bish was the only kiddo in there, which was made much more obvious by his "singing" and throwing things every five seconds. I find a couple of things and take them into the dressing room, trying not to swipe everything off the bottom shelves with my stroller as I go.

Then I come across my next mistake. I thought I could wear these clothes, which were not made for a normal person with, as my gynecologist said, "excellent birthing hips." Had they stocked an extra large, it would have definitely been too small. Plus you're not supposed to have shoulders or thighs or arms. Nicole Richie at her most emaciated wouldn't get into this stuff.

I put everything back on the hangers without trying on most of it, already knowing that would be a waste of time and head back out. Baby Bish decided that he would defend his mother and her hips at the last minute by tossing all the clothes and accessories off the bottom shelf by the cash register, so there went my quick, inconspicuous getaway. It became more painful by the minute, as the girl working there said, "Yeah, we don't usually get a lot of babies in here." No kidding.

So reality set in as I walked to my car. I wasn't that girl anymore, if I ever was. I get in my car and turn on Michael Jackson defiantly, then realize that that wasn't my era either. I'm all confused.

Happy Tuesday.